I don’t know if I’ve ever blogged about this before, but here it goes. My freshman year of college, I had a crush on a kid I met the first day. He was intelligent, from Boston, musically talented and preppy. We’d go shopping together, dinners, have long talks about family. His roommates were hilarious. I enjoyed spending time with him. I think one of his roommates said something to me regarding his sxual orientation, but I overlooked it. I was enjoying time with my pseudo boyfriend. One night, we were lounging in my dorm room and he was playing with my hair. He said, “If I was straight, I would so marry you.” Jigga what? I was totally caught off guard. We remained best friends, but his non-openly gay persona shocked me. Weren’t they all supposed to be flamers?

Fast forward to the San Antonio trip. I know I’ve written about my brother’s best friend before, but I’m too lazy to find it. I adored this kid. He was quiet, funny, sincere. We’d hang out as a group all the time, and occasionally, we;d hang out just the two of us. We went to plays, comedy clubs, bars. We were never as wild/crazy as the others so these quiet evenings suited us better. Nothing ever got serious, but there was one drunken night make-out session when we all went out in a group. He was such a good kisser. Nothing ever came out of that after we were both sober, but it was definitely memorable for me. He had occasional girlfriends throughout the years but nothing ever serious. I remember dancing with him at my wedding and I said something snarky like, “This could’ve been us.” He told me he knew. My mom danced with him at the wedding and told him the same thing. LOL. I love my husband, but he was always the one that restored my faith in men. Not all men were assholes, insincere or abusive.

My best friend is married to his older brother. While at breakfast she mentioned that he was gay and my jaw dropped. Jigga what? Caught off guard again. He’s never said anything to me, but my brother/parents know. My parents always loved him as a son just as his parents always loved me/my brother as their own kids. Secretly, I think my husband is happy to know that this kid is gay. I think he knew I had a crush on him before we married and now, it’s just one less thing to worry about. I think about his family now mostly. He was brought up through the church and while I know his mom will always love/accept him, I don’t know about his Dad. My mom likes to joke that he could’ve hidden/fought this, had he married me. Oh, Mom. Always so dramatic. I don’t think I’m that magical. And if he would’ve cheated on me, it would’ve torn me apart.

We’ve gone every week for about a month and I’ve noticed so many changes. It amazes me each time. I’m more honest with him and with myself and it’s a very refreshing change. The biggest change is that we were able to be on vacation together w/o fighting, more talking, more sex, more quality time. That made the vacation awesome.

We started in San Antonio. I love this sleepy, romantic town. As people say, there isn’t much to do besides, shop, eat, sex. SOLD! Saturday night we went to a bar, hoping to run into his uncle. It’s an older crowd and the music is always eclectic, but danceable. I love dancing with my husband, and I was so glad we were able to incorporate this into our vacation. Sunday, we met up with one of my gfs and had a delicious breakfast at this place called Magnolia Pancake Haus. So yummy! I discovered something here that deserves its own separate blog entirely.

The big part of the trip was getting away from everything. Enter Wendover, NV. It’s a small casino town that borders Utah and is only a couple hours from Salt Lake City, UT. The town itself has a lot of history, specifically WW2. (Pushes glasses up on nose). I was pretty impressed with all the history I didn’t know about and that was my favorite part of the vacation, learning, with my husband. It was a great trip. Another bonus about this location is that it’s a hotbed for older people. So everywhere we looked we were seeing old couples together. We were the youngest kids on the trip. It’s not Vegas, but it is definitely one of those, wanna get away type trips. There’s not tons of stuff to do so relaxing/resting are exactly what you get plenty of on this type of trip. SOLD!

When we returned, we sunk back into our normal routines, but kept up the sex part and this was so huge for me. I was really happy to report all this to the counselor last week. He’s given us some homework, specifically some reading. I’ve started with The Five Love Languages. There’s a quiz on that site and I was very impressed to find out that my language is physical touch. Duh! Husbands is Gifts of Service/Physical touch, but not as strong as mine were. He was 7/12 for both those categories, while I was 11/12 for physical touch. Take the quiz, have your husband take the quiz. It’s free. I made my parents do it last night. Love is a choice. The book talks about how you’re only in that “in love” phase for 2 years and after that you have to make a conscious effort to love the way you do naturally, but also love the way your spouse receives love.

I’m back to being happily married and we’ve returned to spending time with my family and that makes me over the top happy. I still need to spend time with my MIL, but now I understand that this is a gift of service I was witholding. I’m looking forward to the reward for my gift.

I’m sure I blog about work often, but it is where I spend most of my time, and I try hard to make the best of it. If you worked with me, we’d spend most of our days laughing, being supremely sarcastic and getting sh!t done. I have a new boss and while she is better than the other one, professional she is not. Let me paint you a picture. My boss strolled into work around 8:30. Her entire team starts by 7am, but this is already her routine. Her outfits are always colorful. Today, she wore a purple shirt, black cropped pants, white socks and black mowing your lawn only gym shoes. I have no idea what party she was dressing for, but I assure you, we are NOT that casual. She had a walk with the janitorial crew planned, but we’re not that industrial either. I was at a loss when I saw the shoes. The only people that wear these type of shoes are slinging cases in our warehouse and even then, I’m sure they’re not as disgusting. Also, they DON’T work in the office. UGH. I was embarassed by her entire outfit, but especially her shoe choice. Every week she has a new way of surprising us with her lack of professionalism. As if the outfit wasn’t enough, she decided to confront one of my sales bosses (wearing this delightful outfit) about something ridiculously trivial. Someone went into her office and borrowed something. She used the phrase, “As a manager.” She is my manager, but ugh, that phrase? I don’t know if I’d ever use it, even if I was a manager. Of course with all things that bother me, I have to find a way to laugh at it, so in this case, I will be starting the new series…. “As a Manager”. I’ve already started working this fantastic phrase into my daily routine. Whenever I don’t know what to do, I simply ask myself, What would I do as a manager? More often than not, if I simply do the opposite of what my boss does, is doing or already done, I know I’m on the right track.

Let’s put it to use…

As a manager, do not stroll into work late wearing shoes that you probably mow your lawn in. If you’re going to be late, your outfit has to be fierce.

As a manager, do not bring your entire clan into the office to eat leftover lunches. I know I don’t have children, but I’ve never invited anyone that doesn’t work with me to eat leftover lunches that the company paid for.

As a manager, wear deodorant. This one should be a given, but sometimes people need to be reminded. If people make a face at you, and you’re not wearing deodorant, don’t give them the stink eye. You’re the one that’s being offensive.

As a manager, do not borrow company vehicles and drive 25 miles home. You know you don’t come into work on time, and those that do, may need that company vehicle. Makes sense, right?

As a manager, I plan on using this phrase daily.

As a manager, come into work everyday. Taking days off to move, look at houses, do other random piddly shit not related to work are frowned upon.

As a manager, clean your desk. Having leftover food (as a manager, why didn’t this make it home?) and other random shit on your desk is bothersome. As a manager, didn’t you send a memo to the entire office to clean their desks? Follow suit, madam.

As a manager, keep up with your calendar. If you scheduled a meeting with your team, show up on time for them and try not to delete meetings from your calendar. It doesn’t automatically remove it from theirs so they’ll assume you’re still having a meeting.

That’s all I have for this week, but as a manager I’m sure I’ll have more.

Good afternoon, lovelies.

* I so don’t have as much time to blog anymore… boo!

*Swoon still manages to crack me up on the regular.

*I was behind one of those “I don’t know what the hell I’m ordering for lunch today, but I want to pretend I know and proceed ask a million questions about everything on the menu while there is a line” people. I think she was on a lunch date too. I don’t think she’ll be going on a date #2 unless he likes women to ask him a million questions about what’s on the sex menu for the evening in the same manner.

*Hubs and I have been looking into weight loss surgery. Look into as in, we’ve been to a seminar, consulted with a fabulous doctor and scheduled follow up appointments. For him I see it as a necessity and for me, more of an option, but really, truthfully, I just want to lose the weight as quickly/safely as possible for the both of us.

*My brother fixed my brakes. All by himself, and did a fabulous job. I love having handy brothers. Not too long ago he fixed our toilets (replaced a seal, replaced flush valves and some other dohickey<—that’s a technical term). My brakes ended up being more work than he thought,  but mesothankful.

*Date night with the hubs over the weekend. melovethose. We’ve been pretty good about doing that once a week and it’s been really good for us. I still don’t want to visit his mama, but us spending time together is awesome. He told me I couldn’t wear sweatpants. LOL.

*Plenty of funny work stories, but I’ll save them for protected. I seriously think I have enough for an episode of the office.

Hello, you gorgeous ladies. Looking for a summer glow on the cheap? How about $1? Yes, ma’am, I found it. I had a little ladies night with my girlfriends and my brother’s gf, Heather. Btw, I love her. Finally, my brother found a girly girl I can get glam with. Thank you, baby Jesus. Anywho, since we were going out, we decided to stop by Target to pick up some last minute girly items. She picked up a bronzer from Revlon that was around $6, and I scoured the Elf section. I found the Sunkissed powder and for a $1, I knew we could do no wrong. I made her put the Revlon back. As soon as we got back to the car, we started glam whoring for one another. She put the bronzer on first and holy moly, hot mama coming through. Don’t believe me? Check us out.

It provides this loverly semi-subtle golden shimmer. Of course, I bought myself one and I hope you all try to find this product as well. I found it at Target. There’s a darker shade if you’re not as light as me. I’m an NW 20 in MAC terms or Medium Plus in their Mineralize Skinfinish powder foundation. For $1, this is quite the cheap thrill. To hear me babble on, please click the vid below.

And since I have a video of the last day I will be 30 years old, how about some pictures?

Isn’t that powder lovely? I love the subtle gold sheen. It complements my honey tinged hair perfectly.

$1 Bronzer = awesome.

It’s been over a week, but I’m still happy from our loverly trip. We just took a short 3 day trip since it was Father’s Day weekend, but we definitely soaked up the juicy bits of the city this time. I asked my co-workers for places to eat/things to do since several of them have visited the city or are from Louisiana. I hotwired this hotel.

One of the recommendations was The Rivershack Tavern. Boo for me not taking touristy pics, other than the one Jefferson took of me outside the place, but this place had the coolest bar stools. Some of them were pinup legs and others had skulls and cross bones on them or looked like they were made for Harley riders. I loved them and their tackiness. The coolest thing about this place is that it has so much history. It used to be a grocery store, pharmacy, liquor store. Several of the signs were found intact and decorate the place. This place was also featured on diners, drive-ins and dives. The food was soo good. I had a shrimp po-boy and Jefferson had a steak. He said that steak was the best he’s ever had. For $10, (steak night was that night) it was a win-win. They also had some 2 for 1 special on a local spiced rum. I had a double rum/Coke for $4.50. They had a local artist playing that night, but then they opened it up for open mic night. We left before that started. The 6 hour drive caught up to us.

I took a peek at the rooftop pool before bed when we came back and couldn’t wait to go swimming the next day.

We woke up the next day and before it got too hot, we made the trek to Cafe du Monde. This place is known for their Cafe au lait and beignets. I love dipping the beignets in the coffee and letting the powdered sugar sweeten the coffee. For an extra special treat, there was a trumpet player playing gospel music. He kind of reminded me of the I wrote a song about it, like to hear it, here it go guy from In Living Color. It was way too hot to walk around and I knew I wanted some pool time, so we walked back to the hotel for just that.

The view from the room and the actual pool water was heavenly. It was a saltwater pool. Score! I did a few laps before laying out. Then the noise started. About 5 kids took over and I didn’t get in the water much after that. Jefferson is not a pool all day person, so we went back to the room to rest/watch movies/plan our next stop. My brother/several others recommended Port of Call. This place is known for their monsoons/burgers/baked potatoes. We didn’t have the monsoon since it was only lunch time, but we did enjoy the burgers/baked potatoes. Their grilled mushrooms were soo good. The burgers are huge! My brother wanted us to bring him back one. LOL. I loved walking around this part of New Orleans. The homes just look so quaint/colorful.

I wanted more pool time, but we opted to have some more rest time. The hotel is known for its heavenly bed and for once Jefferson had no complaints. We asked our favorite bellboy for a dinner recommendation. He suggested Deanie’s Seafood and I’m so glad he did. This place was packed when we got there, but we were able to sneak a bar seat. We were still able to converse and enjoy some excellent vittles. Double bonus. I had some drink called Voodoo Juice, a rum punch with Everclear. Our waiter/bartender was excellent.

Friday night I had planned for us to see a live brass band at Howling Wolf. We had agreed this was going to be a more low-key, less debaucherous trip so seeing a live band sounded perfect. Band nerd alert. I played French Horn for 7 years and loved it. This band wasn’t cool enough to have a French Horn, but they did have marching band style drums, trombones, trumpets, a sax (not brass, LOL), and a marching band style tuba aka sousaphone. (It’s not a tuma…). They were loud, boisterous and they were going to entertain us. People were dancing, bobbing their heads, clapping. This was probably my favorite part of the trip. Soaking up the music, watching people dance, chatting up the locals, all of it. There was a beautiful woman that looked just like a younger Pam Grier. She knew just about everyone in the band. I loved hearing the classic sounds of New Orleans.

New Orleans is just a fun, loud, colorful, cheerful town to me. It was a wonderful trip. I really focused on spending time with Jefferson, talking in the car and soaking up the city with him. It was just what we needed to get back on the same page. I feared he was going to be talking to his mama the whole time about whatever drama she was going to bring up, but that didn’t happen. It was just us. Thank you baby Jesus.

Jefferson is on vacation this week so he was in rare form over the weekend. Friday he was all lovey dovey, but I was tired and just wanted to sleep. He woke me up Saturday morning for activities before I headed to the gym. How he thinks he initiates always cracks me up. I’m not saying I need major foreplay, but a slight nudge isn’t going to let me know he’s looking for something sweet. He worked for a bit on Saturday while I was at the gym, and when he got home, my gf had texted wanting to go to lunch. The plan was to go to lunch and then catch Super 8. She had other plans. I hate when she has other plans. I also hate when she changes plans while I’m indisposed. Her/Jefferson were at the table, and when I came back they changed the plans to bowling. I assumed this was ok with him since he was going to be driving us, but apparently it wasn’t. So he was pissy the rest of the afternoon. At one point, we were at a local bar, and she was texting on her phone and he was facebooking. That is SOOO annoying. I hate you, Facebook. Of course when I retold this whole story to my mom, instantly she’s thinking they’re texting each other. Ah, mom. I could see what he was doing the whole time, so I know that’s not the case, but still. She was on the hunt for a man and we were just along for the not so fun ride. I felt like I had to tell them they were being rude, much like Kelly was telling Alex she was being weird on RHNY. We soon left the bar/went home.

Sunday, he woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I told him I wanted to book our trip. We’re going to NOLA tomorrow. He didn’t get off the couch to look at hotels with me, so as usual, I made all the plans. This somehow, annoyed him. He also wanted me to see if my brother would watch the dog. I called my mom at a reasonable hour and chatted first, then asked. She had no problem and asked if she could watch the dog at her house. I relay that news to Sir Jefferson, and he’s just not happy. Bunch of ridiculous. I did exactly as he asked. Luckily, the hotel I booked through Hotwire is dog friendly. It actually has dog beds. Still, it’s NOLA, and I don’t know if that’s an appropriate (read:clean) city for a dog, but whatevs. I’m new to pet owning so my opinions always seem unfounded.

After that lil bit of bickering, we went to see Super 8. I really liked that movie. We saw it in Dbox which is some new schmancy way to see a movie. The chair tilts/vibrates (in a kinda good way) with the action. It did add to the experience. I’m thinking I may need to see Transformers in Dbox as well. It’s not like 3d, where you’re in the movie, but it’s still entertaining/different. As we were driving there, he was all up in arms about how I don’t include him/consult him in decisions like the hotel/dog. I don’t know how he could even say that, but he did, so I had to respond. He actually was going to just drop me off at the movie theater. I got out of the car to go buy tickets and he peeled off in true douche form. People were looking at this idiot peeling out in a mini-van. Ugh. We did end up seeing the movie, but I did not walk in with him. It’s strange because he wants me to let him be the man, but when he acts like a child, how can I?

This reminds me of the RHOC reunion. Victoria said something like, “Women want to be loved and men want to be respected.” I really do try to respect my husband. I listened as he tried to support his argument about me not consulting him, but I knew I’d given him every opportunity to be involved in the decision, he didn’t want to get off the couch.

At one point over the weekend he mentioned that his mom was having issues with his brother. She said he hit her. He said she might need to stay with us. Um, hell to the no. I need my personal space. If he’s causing trouble, call the police. My husband is not your husband, ma’am.

Anywho, fast forward to today and he calls me frantic because his brother hasn’t slept/eaten and is shaking. His mom called him and he was sent to the store for… wait for it…. pedialyte. This is for a grown man? Are you effing kidding me? I told him, if it’s this bad, why aren’t you taking him to the hospital. I’m sure he called me looking for comfort, but I’m at work and not in comfort mode. I’m in problem solving, get shit done mode. UGH!

The youngest. 3 of my cousins have kids. Since the dining room tables were all full, the kid’s had to color on the floor.

Shameless product plug in the back.

No fighting and everyone sharing.

Two of my cousins. The one on the left is a mother of two and she has NO make-up on. her freckles give her that peachy glow. Her hair is naturally red too. My aunt/photographer’s daughter is on the right.

Photographer’s oldest. He’s single, ladies.

The newest addition to the family. My brother’s gf is holding her. She’s so tiny!

My aunt loves to hold her like this, but not look at the camera. LOL.

Photo-bomb. My youngest cousin on the left, obviously enthused to be in the pic.

My stepfather’s family came to celebrate. He’s on the right awkwardly in the back, lol.

My brother, my older younger brother’s gf and my youngest cousin.

Delightful

Finally, the photographer/my mom’s youngest sister.

My cousin’s family. Her son is so silly/funny.

My parents with my kid brother.

My stepfather just can’t get his smile right. Luckily my mom is making this pic beautiful.

My namesake aunt. Also the cook for all the wonderful food.

My aunt/uncle.

This face kills me.

My sassy Lita aka tamale queen.

She’s so glam.

I love my aunt’s face in this one.

Finally the sibling pic. I hate my bra in this pic, but I love it because it’s with my brother’s.

Nope, still hate the bra. Notate how my brother (the one the right that I’m competing with) was thinner/fitter

Mumsies. They have the same ears. I wasn’t blessed with them.

Cuteness overload.

Are you ready for make-up perfection? Flawless execution twins coming right up. Me/my brother’s gf. I her. I curled her hair. Finally, my brother finds a girly girl that I can talk shit with, glam up with and drink with. He hit the mfing jackpot, man.

Us again.

So proud of this kid. I just realized I didn’t get one with my mom or hubs. Sad face. Still, it was a great day.

I came home and Jefferson was messing with the front door. I usually get nervous whenever he does anything house related, ie fix something. He told me that the front door deadbolt lock broke. ?!? I had no clue what that meant, but basically the core of the lock came with the key when he pulled it out and pieces went everywhere. Since it was already after 5, I wanted him to try and take it to a locksmith to repair so while I showered for date night, he took the lock and left. By the time I was out of the shower/make-up done, he was done with it. He said the locksmith had closed, but he took it to our local Ace Hardware. I officially love that store. He bought a new deadbolt and then asked the cashier if they rekeyed locks and for an add’l five buckaroos they rekeyed the lock to match the other locks we have in the house. Ace, I love  you. I’m sure that’s not super complicated to do, given the cost, but I’m still amazed. LOL!

After he showered (it’s hot down here, y’all), we went to dinner. Of course, he usually complains that I always want to eat somewhere far, but I had a gift card for Cheesecake Factory and there aren’t any close by. He’d never been there and I was excited to dress up for my man and go to dinner. Lately, I love to show off my guns. LOL! Our waitress was really nice and made some great suggestions. I love having lovely waitresses. We ended up ordering burgers which cracks me up, but they were sooo good! Even so, I could only eat half before feeling like I’d had way too much to eat. We ordered the tiramisu cheesecake for dessert to go and went back home. OMG, that was soo good! As we were leaving, we eyed the other desserts and the carrot cake was huge. Boo for dessert regret.

It was so nice to sit and talk to my husband over dinner. We see each other every day, but our work/work-out schedules usually have us eating at different times. We were mainly discussing vacation plans for next week. Just a short trip, but I really want to go to New Orleans again. The weather report has me thinking twice though. Boo! It hasn’t been raining here much so I was expecting it to be the same there, but there are high chances of thunderstorms, which could be good,  but I know even I will get stir crazy. I really want to explore the city since my last visit was mostly drinking, drinking, and lusting for a pool (our hotel didn’t have one). So far the hotels I’ve been eyeing are pet friendly and the quarter is perfect for dog walking. I’m crossing my fingers the weather changes. Plan B is Austin which I love, but I wanted to go to New Orleans.

My kid brother graduated from high school. I’m such a proud sister. Pics were taken, but I haven’t received them from my aunt yet. My make-up was flawless! We visited our Lake Jackson friends over the weekend. I missed Chelsea so much. Their kids are so cute! Her husband asked me, “Why aren’t you making make-up videos anymore?” I don’t know what make-up tips he needs, but isn’t that silly? Creepy too, but I’m still laughing.

As requested, here’s an update on my life.

How did I not mention the bet? Mother’s day weekend, my stepfather was admitted to the hospital. He played golf that day with my brother, didn’t eat and was severely dehydrated. Of course my brothers/mom and I were at the hospital with him. My brother, who is only a year and half younger than me, has put on some weight. He’s always been an athlete but since living at home/going to school full time, the lbs just caught up to him. He threw out a number for his weight and I thought, No freaking way! I weigh less than you?

I’ve never weighed less than the kid. So my mom enlisted a nurse to weigh us and get the real deal answer. He gave himself 10 lbs. He was 10 lbs heavier than what he said he weighed (like a girl). I weighed less than him and all was right with the world. My mom challenged us to lose a considerable amount of weight in a month. She wanted 15 lbs. I’m soooo freaking close to that. I’ve been hitting it hard these last couple of weeks. Of course in true brother fashion, while practicing softball, he sprained his ankle last week. I saw it over the weekend and it’s bad. I told him I don’t want to win on a handicap, because that’s definitely what it looks like. Even so, he hasn’t gone to the gym all month. Slacker. This is officially the last week so after work, you know where I’ll be.

While at the gym yesterday, I asked my trainer to measure my body fat. I’m down 5%! I’m super excited about that. It hasn’t been easy, but I really do enjoy going to the gym, lifting weights and getting the cardio in.

The weekend was semi-eventful. The dog finally got a bath. He smells so much better. Thank you, Emily! I still don’t want him roaming the house and climbing on furniture but his cuteness is warming me over. We took him to the beach on Sunday and he was a hot mess. The water scared him and the mushy sand on his paws was not something he enjoyed. There was a huge chocolate lab there that took a liking to him. They looked so cute together. When I walked him he kept trying to sniff the seaweed that was scattered all over the beach. He was obviously looking for a spot to do his business and the seaweed just had to do. Since there were 234023848 people there, I had Cowboy pick it up, LOL!

We saw Hangover 2 on Saturday with my kid brother. I liked it but I love weird quirky humor. Alan is right up my alley with his antics. Saturday night we went to some random bar close to home. Cheap drinks ftw. That new wobble, wobble line dance is my favorite, LOL. Yesterday was mostly a quiet day at home. I hit the gym, went shopping, did laundry and made dinner. I felt like a NJ housewife for a minute.