Ok, I’m like a kid on Christmas Eve. Anxiously awaiting my one year surgeversary. Tomorrow will be 1 year from my weight loss surgery. Ready for my side by side?

I’m floored, and so proud. So excited for all this progress. I had a marvelous Christmas with my loved ones. Husband spoiled me rotten. He bought me that gorgeous pink dress that yes…. he had to match me. I was going to wear a different dress, but as soon as I put this one on, he went and changed. LOL for matchy matchy husbands.

My brother proposed to his gf and she said yes. You can barely see the ring in this pic. She already knows what side to be on to get the ring in the pic. My Grandmother’s Louis is in the back…

Family pic time! From left, husband, me, stepfather, mumsy and my kid brother. Brother is on the opposite couch.

Ok, I can explain. My family always has a pajama tamale party on Christmas Eve. My saucy self, I put on this baby doll, the matching robe, leggings and slippers. I was pajama party ready, friends. I tried keeping the robe fully clothed, but my girls have a mind of their own. All in all, I kept it together, no wardrobe malfunctions. And I love my drinky cup. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas/holiday season with your loved ones.

In major life news, my stepbrother took his own life, Sunday, December 16, 2012. He was only 28 and it definitely rocked our worlds. He was bipolar and on/off his meds. I can only guess that was the reason. He didn’t leave a note. I’ve spent tons of time with my family since. My stepfather and I have always been very close and it really shook me to see him in so much pain. The first thing I told him was that this was not his fault. I do not want him to blame himself as he’s been an awesome father to me and my brothers. My stepbrother/stepsister haven’t been as blessed to witness his limitless love/devotion to his family. I’m hoping that this will bring him/his daughter closer. I will work to make sure that happens. Life is too short.

On Thursday, I came home and husband was looking at music videos. Normally, he’s busy working on his speak/spell (his work tablet). I asked what he was doing, but he just said he was looking at music. I retreated to the bath tub. I needed hot water to soothe my emotionally drained body. That bath was heavenly and just what I needed. As I was laying down, he came in and told me he wanted to sing at my stepbrother’s funeral. I was floored. He let me listen to some songs, but none felt right. Finally, he said, well there’s one more song, I sang it at my high school recital. It’s Josh Groban’s “To Where You Are”. Such a beautiful song, and I knew instantly that was what I wanted. Husband is a trained opera singer and I knew this would blow everyone away. Told him to get to practicing as there were some high notes in it. He sang it Saturday and it was beautiful and I loved it.

My mom was stellar throughout the whole thing. I was honestly amazed at how strong she was and how she was able to be there for my stepfather. When they made the arrangements, she didn’t go in the room because she didn’t want to upset my stepfather’s ex wife. We were all thankful to be included and allowed to attend. My stepfather spoke at the funeral and my eyes could no longer hold it in. He’s such a loving man and I’m so thankful my mom married him. My kid brother only knew my stepbrother for such a short time, but their similarities are just beyond. Christmas is going to be tough this year, but I’m so thankful for my wonderful family. Kiss your loved ones, tell them you love them. I know I will.

You know those people that are just downright mean for no good reason? Yeah, this entry isn’t about them. They don’t even deserve this much space on my blog. This morning, I pulled into my local Starbucks for my beloved iced coffee sweetened with half/half. I ordered another treat as well, banana walnut bread. There was one car in front of me, and I was waiting patiently. I promise. Anywho, when it my turn, I greeted my favorite server and he gave me my drink/treat. I tried to give him my card, but he said, “You can put your card away, the lady in front of you paid for you.” What? Sweet! That made my day and I promised myself I would spread my cheer. I’m wearing a festive hat to work and I’m having a fantabulous day. There was no one behind me, otherwise I would’ve paid it forward.