December 2, 2010
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Change is hard
One of my bestest friends told me the other day, Marriage is hard. I think for me, change is harder. Its one of the many things you can count on. Things change. Time marches on. We all must adapt. I went to the gym after work yesterday. I needed to clear my head, get those natural beta-endorphins my doc mentioned during my visit. While I was on the elliptical with my FCW, I reached my 1 mile mark in 8 minutes (haven’t been to the gym since last week
) and I paused for some water. While pausing, my co-worker said that man over there wants you to keep going. I looked over and it was an older hispanic man that I didn’t know was watching me. I looked at him and pointed and said, just for you, I’m going to keep going. I did another half mile before my co-worker said it was time for Kickboxing. It really felt good. Support from a stranger. And it didn’t stop there. When we went to class a girl was passing out papers the instructor asked her to. Pearls of Wisdom. That’s what I call it. She called it “Characteristics of Healthy Belonging.” There are 20 and they’re golden. I’m going to share them, if anything, if I ever lose this paper or file, they’ll be here for posterity.
Allows for individuality
Experiences both oneness and separateness from a lover
Brings out the best qualities in partners
Accepts endings
Experiences openness to change and exploration
Invites growth in the other
Experiences true intimacy
Feels the freedom to ask honestly for what is wanted
Experiences giving and receiving in the same way
Does not attempt to change or control the other
Encourages self sufficiency of partners
Accepts limitations of self and partner
Does not crave unconditional love
Finds commitment acceptable
Has a high self-esteem
Trusts the memory of the beloved, enjoys solitude
Expresses Feelings Spontaneously
Welcomes closeness: risks vulnerability
Cares with detachment
Affirms equality of self and partner
God is visiting me at the gym now, y’all. 10-12 are my favorites. I haven’t shared them with hubs yet, but I will. On my way home from the gym, I called my husband and asked him what he wanted for dinner. He wanted tacos and he wanted to start on them. I don’t make tacos with taco seasoning so I told him I’d go to the store on my way home. I went to the store and got home and went to work. I went the extra mile and made those tacos with love. I looked in my cabinet and was shocked and horrified that I didn’t have the one Mexican spice every Mexican should have. Cumin. Cumin for Mexicans is Curry for Indians and I didn’t have any. Double boo! They were still good, but were missing something. My salsa was delicious! After dinner I started to catch up on Conan. I love that ginger headed kid. Cowboy started talking about the car and I paused my show without hesitation or that normal sigh I do whenever he wants to talk and I want to watch my shows. I was able to talk in my soft, sugary voice and it felt really good. I prayed with him for probably the first time since before we got married. We prayed together at that retreat we went to before our wedding. I prayed that he would learn to save money and that nothing else would happen to his car. I prayed that he didn’t view my managing the finances as my way of controlling him. I prayed that we get what we both need out of this elusive counseling session I’m still trying to schedule for next week. Ashley better schedule it ASAP. It was a good talk. Still no sex, but I’m remaining hopeful.
Comments (4)
I like that list! I think I’m going to print it out.
You didn’t have the one Mexican spice that every Mexican should have. LOLLLLL. I love cumin. I always put extra in my tacos even though I do use taco seasoning. What else do you use besides cumin?? I should experiment sometime and try to make my own.
@Lushy - When I noticed that Cumin wasn’t a list of ingredients on said taco seasoning packet he wanted to use I was double sure I didn’t want to use it. LOL! I usually use fresh garlic, tomato sauce (or paste, if paste, I use water to thin it out), fresh onion (blended in a blender), cumin and chilli powder. Salt/Pepper to taste. Since I didn’t have cumin, I used extra chilli powder. I think hubs really wanted to throw in his packet when I wasn’t looking, but I told him to let me make my tacos first. LOL! I brown the meat first, blend that stuff in a blender, and then add it to the meat and let it reduce down for 5-10 minutes so that the meat can absorb all that garlicky/tomato/cumin goodness. I also like queso fresco on my tacos. Its a crumbly white cheese and its delicious!
@laurelitavera - I’ll have to try it!! I LOVE white cheese. OMG. I almost never buy it and just eat it at restaurants because it is so damn expensive but I might have to sometime soon. The Mexican restaurants here are terrible and I can’t eat at them. LOL.
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