August 2, 2011

• As a Manager…

  I’m sure I blog about work often, but it is where I spend most of my time, and I try hard to make the best of it. If you worked with me, we’d spend most of our days laughing, being supremely sarcastic and getting sh!t done. I have a new boss and while she is better than the other one, professional she is not. Let me paint you a picture. My boss strolled into work around 8:30. Her entire team starts by 7am, but this is already her routine. Her outfits are always colorful. Today, she wore a purple shirt, black cropped pants, white socks and black mowing your lawn only gym shoes. I have no idea what party she was dressing for, but I assure you, we are NOT that casual. She had a walk with the janitorial crew planned, but we’re not that industrial either. I was at a loss when I saw the shoes. The only people that wear these type of shoes are slinging cases in our warehouse and even then, I’m sure they’re not as disgusting. Also, they DON’T work in the office. UGH. I was embarassed by her entire outfit, but especially her shoe choice. Every week she has a new way of surprising us with her lack of professionalism. As if the outfit wasn’t enough, she decided to confront one of my sales bosses (wearing this delightful outfit) about something ridiculously trivial. Someone went into her office and borrowed something. She used the phrase, “As a manager.” She is my manager, but ugh, that phrase? I don’t know if I’d ever use it, even if I was a manager. Of course with all things that bother me, I have to find a way to laugh at it, so in this case, I will be starting the new series…. “As a Manager”. I’ve already started working this fantastic phrase into my daily routine. Whenever I don’t know what to do, I simply ask myself, What would I do as a manager? More often than not, if I simply do the opposite of what my boss does, is doing or already done, I know I’m on the right track.

  Let’s put it to use…

  As a manager, do not stroll into work late wearing shoes that you probably mow your lawn in. If you’re going to be late, your outfit has to be fierce.

  As a manager, do not bring your entire clan into the office to eat leftover lunches. I know I don’t have children, but I’ve never invited anyone that doesn’t work with me to eat leftover lunches that the company paid for.

  As a manager, wear deodorant. This one should be a given, but sometimes people need to be reminded. If people make a face at you, and you’re not wearing deodorant, don’t give them the stink eye. You’re the one that’s being offensive.

  As a manager, do not borrow company vehicles and drive 25 miles home. You know you don’t come into work on time, and those that do, may need that company vehicle. Makes sense, right?

  As a manager, I plan on using this phrase daily.

  As a manager, come into work everyday. Taking days off to move, look at houses, do other random piddly shit not related to work are frowned upon.

  As a manager, clean your desk. Having leftover food (as a manager, why didn’t this make it home?) and other random shit on your desk is bothersome. As a manager, didn’t you send a memo to the entire office to clean their desks? Follow suit, madam.

  As a manager, keep up with your calendar. If you scheduled a meeting with your team, show up on time for them and try not to delete meetings from your calendar. It doesn’t automatically remove it from theirs so they’ll assume you’re still having a meeting.

  That’s all I have for this week, but as a manager I’m sure I’ll have more.

  • 9:10 pm
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